Steps eight and nine of the Twelve Steps specifically call for amends. We believe everyone deserves access to accurate, unbiased information about mental health and recovery. That’s why we have a comprehensive set of treatment providers and don’t charge for inclusion. We do not and have never accepted fees for referring someone to a particular center. Providers who advertise with us must be verified by our Research Team and we clearly mark their status as advertisers. It’s hard to find the right response to someone making amends.
What are 12-Step Programs? Explore Their Principles and Impact?
Apologizing is important, but it’s not enough if you don’t make changes to your behavior. If you keep making the same mistakes without taking any real action, your apology will fall flat. When making amends, it’s necessary to understand that not everyone will be willing to forgive and forget.
This dictionary definitions page includes all the possible meanings, example usage and translations of the word Amends.
And yet every spiritual and religious tradition includes the importance of apology, forgiveness, and making amends. In Judaism, one of the year’s holiest days is the day of atonement. Catholics confess their sins to a priest to receive guidance and forgiveness. When we amend something, we seek to revise or alter it with the intention of correcting errors, addressing Substance abuse deficiencies, or updating its content. Amendments are often made to enhance clarity, accuracy, or relevance. For example, lawmakers may amend a bill to modify certain provisions before it becomes a law.
Acknowledge That This is an Ongoing Process
Our mission is to help everyone find the best path to recovery through the most comprehensive, helpful network of treatment providers worldwide. The Native Americans understand that restorative justice was a process of accountability and repair that heals the entire community. Judaism has a yearly practice of accountability and apology to those whom you have harmed with your actions. Finally, apology and making amends are crucial in a relationship because it establishes, or re-establishes, a basis of trust.
Word History and Origins
For instance, substance use impacts a parent’s relationships with their children, but making amends to them should never be in a language or explanation which is beyond their comprehension. In these amends meaning cases, reflect on whether reaching out is to clear your own conscience at the other person’s expense. This is where a 12-Step “sponsor” or even a counselor’s feedback could be helpful in checking your motivation. Giving a person space and honoring their right to feel what they feel about the impact your addiction and the connected behaviors has had on their lives.
This is part of our ongoing commitment to ensure FHE Health is trusted as a leader in mental health and addiction care. It is very important to recognize that the act of making amends is for you and not the other person. You are setting the record strait to clean up your side of the street, so to speak. Before Step 9, one completes the Step 8 inventory, listing people they’ve harmed and developing a willingness to make amends. Some people on this list may be harder to approach, so readiness is key. If willingness isn’t there yet, the program encourages asking a Higher Power for guidance until that willingness arises.
- Include synonyms for “make amends” such as apologize, reconcile, mend fences, patch things up, etc.
- It’s important to focus on the current situation and how you’re going to make it right.
- Sponsorship is critical to all of the 12 Steps, but it’s especially helpful at this stage.
- In Judaism, one of the year’s holiest days is the day of atonement.
- They decided to amends their friendship after a long-standing dispute.10.
When using the idiom “make amends”, it’s important to avoid common mistakes that can lead to misunderstandings. This phrase is often used in situations where someone wants to apologize or make things right after causing harm or offense. However, there are certain nuances and subtleties involved that can be easily overlooked.
What are the Differences between Apologizing and Making Amends?
- Sometimes, it’s better to leave it alone and allow the other person to move on.
- It’s important to give them the time and space they need to process their emotions and decide when they’re ready to talk.
- They made amends with the church after a long-standing disagreement.6.
This concept was later incorporated into English common law where offenders were required to make amends for their crimes. Experiencing a mental health or substance use issue can be intimidating but you don’t have to do it alone. One common challenge is being willing to accept the consequences of your actions.
Idioms and Phrases
By avoiding these common mistakes and staying focused on the other person’s needs and feelings, you can increase your chances of successfully making things right. Sometimes, trying to make things right can cause others distress. There are cases in which reaching out to someone, even to apologize and let them know you’ve changed, can cause pain. Additionally, revealing the things you’ve done without a loved one’s knowledge often results in anguish, not healing. Before adding amends to your list, think about your motives for contacting this person and work with your sponsor to determine next steps.
Accountability is a Deeply Powerful Act
You want to show the people you’ve hurt that you’re not just assuming what’s needed but that you’re open to their perspective and willing to meet their needs. Compile a list of all the people you’ve wronged or mistreated through the course of your substance abuse. Making amends is more than saying sorry — it’s about taking responsibility, rebuilding trust, and changing behavior. Expressing gratitude is an essential part of the AA recovery process. Thank the person for making amends and for their efforts towards sobriety.
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